The Big Leap

For the last couple of days my wiggle walking around the park has been accompanied by growing evidence of the leap into spring.  The first, tender early blossoms are now dusting the trees white, pale pink and fuchsia while below them daffs nod their merry heads.  The coots are massing on the lake and putting on impressive displays of macho intent (and that’s the girl coots) and today I noticed little spikes forming on the cherry trees lining the pathways; a pre-curser to the wonderfulness of the thick, massed, dreamy blossom to come.

As our little pocket of the world readies itself for this big, annual leap into life I’m sitting with the niggling tension of not knowing whether or not I should be making my own leap into my new mobile life.

My intuition is screaming at me to get away, to get on sailing boats in beautiful, tropical waters and enjoy the freedom of the sea and of exploration.  My intuition is also informing me, gently and insistently, that my next learning exploration is through tantra, and with the tantric master Nityama here in London, very happy to share his learning with me (I could get all sorts of double entendres in there, but I feel fairly confident you’ve done that for yourself by now) it seems smart to stay and make the most of that.  My logical mind is putting its own concerns into the mix reminding me that I am not sitting on a bottomless pit of money and if I want to be back for my friends’ wedding at the end of March, it’s just daft to do anything right now.

When I got back from my walk, with this post bubbling up I realised that it is Leap Day.  Luckily I’m not getting any impulses to propose to random men to add to my confusion, but I think it does put some context to my sudden ants-in-the-pants-got-to-get-moving urge.

I am in the process of making up what I’d love, making up the myth I want my life to be.  In my myth I am a sailor, engaged in a wide-eyed adventure with the sea, I embody the essence of my femininity and am supported by the vibration of my sexuality, I am at the centre of a loving, jolly community and I am grounded in the home my heart creates wherever I am.

All this and more is the substance of what I am creating in my world.  My practical mind separates it all out and says I can have this or that, one or the other, travelling or tantra, celebrations or sailing, weddings or woaming (*shrugs apologetically*).  My mythical self sees the big picture and is using the symbolism of today to tell me that my next big leap is another leap of faith in the belief that I can have it all.  To take the first step of my journey and watch all that I’d love magically drop into place.

I’ll let you know how that goes.


Love Myths

When I started this piece, much of me wanted to fling my Valentine’s version of Bah Humbug at the goings on of yesterday.  But then I reflected on the beautiful moments that I witnessed during the day and I remembered that there is still lots to value in the myth of love that we have built around the 14th February.

My friend’s daughter covering the house in glitter to celebrate the day (I can’t help wondering if she’s been on cleaning detail today), another friend, a new mum, coming downstairs to find two lobsters gloomily sitting in the sink awaiting their fate at the hands of her man for a special dinner, home made cards, flower stalls that looked like multi-coloured aspects of heaven, fun, laughter, kisses and surprises.  Beautiful moments created by people imaginatively expressing their love for one another.

When we sign up to a collective myth like Valentine’s, it’s good to remember that we can still make it our own.  We can pour so much more of ourselves into it than the customary, hastily brought, cellophane-wrapped supermarket flowers.  Let’s face it, when love comes wrapped in convenience, it’s a sign that we have completely lost the plot.

To be honest, I don’t know what really could adequately celebrate love in a day.  Love is the mystery, the most fundamental magic of our human nature. Love wants to flow, and grow, to be nurtured within each of us, and carried on our breath and through our eyes and touch to connect us with each other. Maybe there’s no way to really celebrate love, other than to open ourselves up to it.

As a single woman who was fully sold on the romance myth, I used to find Valentine’s Day so painful.  The pain came because I saw the myth as something separate from me, that I wanted to belong to, but was being excluded from.  Now I see the story that’s there and I make my own relationship with it.  This year, I could have chosen romance with another, but instead I chose romance with myself.

Recently I’ve reminded myself of an incredibly simple practice that has the ability to completely transform my day, my moment, and my relationship to everything that’s happening around me.  I look inside myself and ask if I’m loving myself inside right now.  As soon as I do, I relax and soften, I’m connected back to me, to my core rather than hiding in my busy head.  When I look up, I see the world differently. Because I’m feeling love for myself, I don’t need to seek love or validation, or fear rejection by others.  I can just connect with people, without any other agenda.  Funny little interactions happen, and particularly I’ve found I connect beautifully with men.  Give it a try ladies.  We spend so much time believing there are no men for us, but when you connect in this way, suddenly they’re everywhere, and they’re loving you back, even if it’s just for a moment.

A day, a week, a month, a year full of precious, little moments of love between friends or strangers.  Now that’s something to celebrate.

PS – definitely do the loving self and connecting things ladies and gents.  I went jogging in the park this morning, and I received so many cheeky smiles, lovely looks and responses from the men I met on the way – in spite of my jogging gear.  I’m pretty sure they were genuinely admiring rather than sportingly sympathetic.

Staying put but not staying still

Things are shifting a lot already in the myth factory that is my life. Although a myth cottage industry is probably a more accurate term at this point, as it is my own myth I’m working on rather than churning out myths for others to live by.

Having said that the existence of this forum is a bit of a clue that I am keen to  grow my cottage industry and involve others in making up their own myth. I love helping people to uncover what it is they love in life, and bring more of that into their world.  I want to encourage people reading this (and many more who aren’t yet) to get imaginative about what they want in their life, to raise the bar and get creative.  So, I guess I do want to create a myth factory, but it’s a factory where everyone is given the inspiration, the encouragement, the tools, and the support to make up their own version of life, rather than comply with the limitations of the mass-produced, made in Taiwan version that many of us live as a default.

I came to this way of life myself through a stretching and fun period of learning and experimenting, guided by my teacher and friend, Darren Eden.  With him, I learnt to make my intuition my primary guiding force and information source.  I use my intuition daily, indeed, in the moment, to choose what I’d love in any situation, and to get the action that will create that end result.

Our intuition is such a valuable  resource, and more easily accessed than you might think. It is a vibrant, imaginative and interesting way to chart your course through life. Following your intuition is like following breadcrumbs because there is no project plan, or step-by-step guide, just the next action, and the next action knowing you are focussed on an end result, and somehow these actions are leading you to it.  The vivid nature of living in this way is expressed beautifully by Elle Harrison, author of Wild Courage: A Journey of Transformation for You and Your Business (highly recommended reading).

Listening to our intuition, we lean our awareness into the present.  We notice what captures our attention, what draws our curiosity, what brings us alive – and we follow it.  In a sense we therefore participate in a vibrant field of energies and possibility that exist right here, right now, and that also draw us into the future with their unfolding…seen in this way the future is not an inanimate space we walk into, but something that is alive, magnetic, charged.

Elle Harrison, Wild Courage: A Journey of Transformation for You and Your Business, Watkins Publishing, 2003.

That alive, charged space Elle talks about means that nothing stays fixed for long.  When you are making it up, I’m learning that you also learn to shift and bend with circumstances, and to the magic that you create along the way.  When I started writing these pieces, my intention was to leave on a trip to Mexico this week, to experiment with a mobile life in the sun; sailing, coaching, being somewhere warm and colourful, warm sea a constant companion.  I’ve had my leaving party, I’ve received presents and cards wishing me luck and I’ve communicated with friends in Mexico that I’m on my way.

However, a bit of magic has just popped up, another breadcrumb has been dropped into my path, and plans go out of the window (I knew there was a reason I hadn’t actually bought my ticket).  A great tantric teacher, (Nityama, otherwise rather wonderfully known as the Tantric Mongoose) who lives in America and who has been living very privately for two years, has very unexpectedly rocked up in London town.  I did some work with him 4 years ago, and could see then the depth of knowledge and wisdom he had to share, but I chose working with Darren at that point rather than going to America to learn more.  Suddenly, and very magically at a moment when I have very recently decided to deepen my understanding of tantra, here he is.

In the old days I would probably have carried on with the original plan, or at least, got very stressed about shifting my own direction and not delivering on the expectations I’d set up in others and myself.

Today, my intuition is my guide, and intuition above all takes you to what you’d love and what’s obvious.  What’s obvious here is that when the mountain comes to Mohamed, it just seems rude for Mohamed to pack her bags and jet off. So, for a few more weeks at least, I’m staying put, and the biggest move I’ll be making is to swap bedrooms with my house mates, and to trundle happily off to Cardiff for my friend’s Hen House Party which I thought I would be missing.

I’ll be staying put, but I won’t be staying still.  It’s obvious to me that working with Nityama is an important part of the story I’m living, another facet of the life I’m creating.  I don’t know exactly what that is yet, but I’m looking forward to finding out and I promise to tell you all about it then.

Hello Mythter and Mythis

The thing that I’ve realised about myth in the last hour, is that if you want to write, or have a conversation with myth as the theme, you quickly sound like you are more than a little drunk, or you have a lisp.  Notwithstanding this slight disadvantage I have decided to plough ahead and create this forum to explore, write stories about, and discuss the ways that we can use myth to both question our lives as they are, and to re-weave the fabric of our lives to make it something that delights us.

It is impossible to write about myth without pulling on and honouring the work of the legendary Joseph Campbell who spent his life studying the myths and religions of the world to uncover the truths of humanity which lie behind the stories and characters within them.  If you haven’t come across his work, I will be delighted to introduce you to it here but I will try to fight the temptation to insert reams and reams of his very quotable quotes as an alternative to my own thinking, writing and experiences.  However I will without doubt borrow a bit.  He does it so very well you see.

The fundamental concept behind this blog, which it is only fair to let you in on from the start, is that everything around us has been made up by someone at some point.  Everything we have, everything we are, came from nothing but a spark of a conscious, or an unconscious, thought.  Our ability to create stuff as humans is phenomenal.  So, if it’s all made up, how about we make up a version of life that we love?  How about making up, and making real a life that is full of the things, the actions, the people, the activity that we love?

This is my choice now, to keep making up my own myth, to make up my life and keep making it up.  Rather than feeling that I have to follow a dreary path that has been set out by others, I am making it up myself.  I love sailing, I love my coaching practice, I love dancing, romance, sex, sunshine, travel, learning and teaching.  I’m busy making up a life that has all this and more – not just in moments, but woven into the very fabric of my daily life.  This is what I’d love to share with you, and learn about with you.  So please join the fun, and make it up with me.