Sex and sailing. It all comes down to this really. The heart of my myth is that simple. Around half a lifetime of experience (all being good, maybe a bit less if I stop drinking like a pirate), four years of challenging myself, giving myself over to my intuition, trying new things, learning about new passions, reflecting lots, freeing myself of the old and embracing the new, and that’s the beautiful core of what I’m about.
To date I’ve been rather more up front in this blog about my love of sailing than my love of sex. What can I say? I’ve been feeling my way, finding my courage and my own voice of conviction. There may be some relevance in the fact that I have regrettably chalked up more hours rolling around in boats than in beds in recent times, but nevertheless my reticence to date has more to do with caution than a lack of tales to tell. Caution isn’t something I’m generally known for, but in this case I’m glad to have entertained it. The time that I have sat with this has greatly clarified my intention and my purpose in opening up this conversation, as well as bringing me to a place where I simply can’t keep it within me.
The last five months have been a time of personal challenge, of grief and introspection. Although the cause of that time remains painful, it has nevertheless given me room to reflect and the impetus to make some important choices about my future, about what I stand for. If I have learnt anything in this time, it is the importance of creating our own story, standing up for what we believe and taking action to bring what we love to life. I love sex (and sailing) and it is time for me to claim my purpose, to express my passion and engage my voice, the voice that each of us has within us, to explore and address one of the most important aspects of human life.
Sex is a beautiful, wonderful and I fear often mismanaged area of human interaction and potential. It is a meeting place, a place of love and intimacy, of fun, of incredible pleasure, of connection and of deep creative power. Sex is also sadly a place of darkness, of power games, of violence, of judgement and shame. Sex is a powerful indicator of the state of play between man and woman*. At the micro level sex is one of the first things to be sacrificed within a relationship that is not flourishing. At the macro level It shows us, through common attitudes and prejudices, social convention and quality of conversation whether or not, as men and women we are engaging with ourselves and each other with the full joy, power and creativity of which we are, each and every one of us, capable.
My choice now is to direct my energy, my skills, my passion and commitment to making the world a sexier place. A sexier place with boats.
* A major aspect of my interest in sex is in the broader play between masculine and feminine in individuals, in relationships, in business, in government, in communities. My own experience and insights are those of a heterosexual woman, and much of my language and focus will reflect that. I believe this conversation is equally valid for gay as for straight people, and welcome input from those with other experiences and perspectives than my own.