The intuitive path is not laid out in neat lines. In learning to access my intuition I gave the inner voice of my heart and soul more volume enabling it to cut through the habitual babble of experience, doubts and reasoning that had been my advisors. As I progressed in my learning, making my intuitive voice stronger, and learning through action that I could create what my heart imagined, the vision continued to grow, becoming more true, more challenging, more compelling.
When we go to our logical mind for actions, we draw on what we know. Experience says, ‘last time we did this, then this, then this – the last this didn’t work very well, so this time let’s do this, then this, then try that’. Nice clear steps that seem to progress forwards, an apparently linear programme, a project plan.
However, the plan generally requires that certain conditions are met before we move to the next step – very often financial. How many times have you said, or heard someone say “When I’ve earned enough I’ll….” “When the kids grow up we can….. “ In the meantime life passes, fulfilling the conditions we’ve set in place take over while the dream itself fades into the background. Before we know it we are miles away from the vision of our soul, completely absorbed in striving to meet conditions we think need to be in place, to get somewhere that we can’t remember.
The actions I receive from my intuition can feel as random as they come, and yet, strangely they have proved to be a more direct route to creating my vision. They might not look logical, but my intuitive, inner wisdom knows what will serve my end results and has given it to me when I needed it. The actions have often felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar because they took me way beyond my safety zone. That’s good, my safety zone could only possibly give me more of what I had already created – and I don’t want that any more. My intuition wants to give me the world, the full extent of the myth I love to live, so the actions to get there will be bound to take me beyond myself.
The life and choices of Steve Jobs illustrate both pathways for me. I wonder about his death, and whether or not it was necessary. Did he put what he thought needed to be done at Apple ahead of early treatment? When he died, the super yacht he was creating was incomplete. Was he ignoring the call of his intuition to get away from work and be with his family by designing something perfect, rather than just hiring something already built and taking action? I don’t know, but wondering gives me a chance to choose to go for what my heart loves now, rather than wait while I pour all my life force into work.
When I feel that the path I’m on makes no sense, but somehow feels right, I also reach for the reassurance of Steve Jobs’ words given at the Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 and am inspired to keep on my dotty pathway.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.
Each dot or action I jump to is a journey in itself and brings its own learning, challenges and joy. Each dot I jump to requires me to leave somewhere I’ve become comfortable. I do this without knowing for certain where these dots will join to. Sometimes that uncertainty pulls me into anxiety, but when I re-focus on what it is I’m creating, and compare it to where I was three years ago, I let go of what’s holding me back and take another leap trusting the voice within me that tells me it will all make sense one day.