Using all my bits to be immense

There is an incredible world out there, in the unseen, the unknown, the ether.  My imagination boggles at what it might be like, the realms where our super-conscious roams, where we are all connected, where there is no space or time, just (just?) an infinity of possibility and connection.

This is where my intuition goes to learn, or maybe it’s where my intuition exists, hanging out having tea with my higher self, idly thrusting little clues through the veil that separates the known from the unknown, a symbol, a moment of inspiration, a feeling to guide me.  I imagine a little sigh, or a chuckle as my higher self raises it’s infinity version of eyebrows at all the other higher selves it’s hanging out with before dunking an infinity version of a custard cream in an infinity version of a cuppa and going back to knowing everything and nothing in a very disconcerting way (I had a feeling I might go a little Terry Pratchett with this one).  Maybe they all raise their infinity version of eyebrows, all the connected souls of the universe having an ‘aw, bless’ moment at my cluelessness.

I love living life in this body of mine, experiencing the world in physical form, existing within those limitations of time and space that make rather wonderful things available to me.  Things like making love, smelling newly mown grass, eating cheesecake, cuddling children, sailing, getting a massage (note to self: get a massage)…(higher priority note to self, get a lover).  If all I did with this body was to enjoy one tender moment looking into my beloved’s eyes, receiving the touch of his fingers on my cheek, the gentlest of kisses connecting us, I feel it would be worth it as far as sensory experiences go.  Multiple daily experiences of touch, smell, taste, sight, sound and thought really up the ante.

The fact that my physical experience of life comes with the endless possibilities of the creative realm, that mad place where my infinitely-connected, etheric self is having tea and biscuits, just makes life rather fantastic.

All the possibilities of the unknown, the insights of intuition, the infinite potential of our creative genius and the limitless perspective of love are there for us to draw into our physical experience of life.  A resource that is always available, but which is nothing without a body through which we can bring our creativity and resourcefulness into the world in their physical form.  Our bodies can enjoy our sensory life, but to reach our full, creative potential we must overcome the separation that is a requirement of existence, and reach through that veil for input from our connected, infinite self.  Sure, that might involve our higher self raising its eyebrows in a slightly condescending way, but like a God, it knows it has no way to express itself without our physicality and will always play ball.

We are separate and connected, in bits and whole, body and spirit, and when we bring all of our self into play, we are immense.

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The Dotty Path of Intuition

The intuitive path is not laid out in neat lines.  In learning to access my intuition I gave the inner voice of my heart and soul more volume enabling it to cut through the habitual babble of experience, doubts and reasoning that had been my advisors.  As I progressed in my learning, making my intuitive voice stronger, and learning through action that I could create what my heart imagined, the vision continued to grow, becoming more true, more challenging, more compelling.

When we go to our logical mind for actions, we draw on what we know.  Experience says, ‘last time we did this, then this, then this – the last this didn’t work very well, so this time let’s do this, then this, then try that’.  Nice clear steps that seem to progress forwards, an apparently linear programme, a project plan.

However, the plan generally requires that certain conditions are met before we move to the next step – very often financial. How many times have you said, or heard someone say “When I’ve earned enough I’ll….”  “When the kids grow up we can….. “ In the meantime life passes, fulfilling the conditions we’ve set in place take over while the dream itself fades into the background. Before we know it we are miles away from the vision of our soul, completely absorbed in striving to meet conditions we think need to be in place, to get somewhere that we can’t remember.

The actions I receive from my intuition can feel as random as they come, and yet, strangely they have proved to be a more direct route to creating my vision.  They might not look logical, but my intuitive, inner wisdom knows what will serve my end results and has given it to me when I needed it.  The actions have often felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar because they took me way beyond my safety zone.  That’s good, my safety zone could only possibly give me more of what I had already created – and I don’t want that any more.  My intuition wants to give me the world, the full extent of the myth I love to live, so the actions to get there will be bound to take me beyond myself.

The life and choices of Steve Jobs illustrate both pathways for me.  I wonder about his death, and whether or not it was necessary.  Did he put what he thought needed to be done at Apple ahead of early treatment?  When he died, the super yacht he was creating was incomplete.  Was he ignoring the call of his intuition to get away from work and be with his family by designing something perfect, rather than just hiring something already built and taking action?  I don’t know, but wondering gives me a chance to choose to go for what my heart loves now, rather than wait while I pour all my life force into work.

When I feel that the path I’m on makes no sense, but somehow feels right, I also reach for the reassurance of Steve Jobs’ words given at the Stanford Commencement Speech 2005 and am inspired to keep on my dotty pathway.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.

Each dot or action I jump to is a journey in itself and brings its own learning, challenges and joy.  Each dot I jump to requires me to leave somewhere I’ve become comfortable.  I do this without knowing for certain where these dots will join to.  Sometimes that uncertainty pulls me into anxiety, but when I re-focus on what it is I’m creating, and compare it to where I was three years ago, I let go of what’s holding me back and take another leap trusting the voice within me that tells me it will all make sense one day.